TMZ

Have you seen this shit? I can't believe I'm about to waste time writing about it. To acknowledge it's existence is like giving it some credibility and worse than that, I'm admitting I've seen it. Unfortunately, I've seen it enough to form an opinion. First there's this jack-ass with a high tech see through board writing down action items with a glowing green marker. He grins manically and feigns extreme disbelief whenever someone talks about some D list celebrity's inane ramblings outside of a club at 3 in the morning. They have some young version of Fabio who's about the smarmiest fuck I've ever seen. On one segment Jennifer Love Hewitt was filmed through the window getting a manicure. After she waves and smiles at the camera, young Fabio comments that she's looking sweet and adorable, probably because she's sitting. A bottom feeder attempting to gleen his own celebrity by being a dick to an apparently nice person minding her own business. There is a "news room" packed with hungry young producers discussing such exciting Hollywood glamor as Ashlee Simpson (or maybe the Spears girl) and her husband coming out of Walmart with a cart of groceries. One of the smug producers points out breathlessly that the shopping cart "is just full to the top with chips and soda". He actually sounds stunned that Ashlee Simpson is doing something so normal. It's beyond pointless. It's a shopping cart! This show actually succeeds in doing what no PR person could and that's making me feel sympathy for David Caruso.

I've just decided right this moment I'll never watch that show again, even by accident. Thank you for helping me sort that out.