Assville

I try not to judge people by where they live. You'll never hear me say the only thing that ever came from Texas was steers and queers (unless I'm teasing a Texan). I'll never allude that everyone from Alabama is inbred, I've spent a lot of time there and it's a beautiful state with a lot of nice people. However! Sometimes an area seems to have more than it's fair share of assholes. Ladies and gentleman, for your consideration, I give you Conway Arkansas. Since I've been here I've rescued two dogs who had been threatened by not one but two gun happy rednecks (this ticks me off and I'm a gun owner). I've had the displeasure of driving through L.A., Washington D.C., Denver, and any number of big city traffic nightmares but this smallish town of 52,000 is where I refuse to ride my motorcycle. Bear in mind that I've lane split on I-5 in San Diego during rush hour. I have mocked people because they are scared to ride their motorcycles in traffic and yet here I am. I've had more people pull out in front of my big blinding-ass red pick-up just this morning than I have the last five years. I even got cut off in the Target by some woman in a hurry. Turns out she was just in a hurry to get her cart and kid in front of me and then slow down.

The litter in this part of Arkansas is a disgrace. Forget about the litter alongside the road, that looks like the 70's commercial with Iron Eyes Cody. It's everywhere. Someone picked it up last week. On the way to work there were several large orange garbage bags on the side of the road. Of course there were fresh bottles and cups to kick off the next round of filth. Some yayhoo wrote the local paper last week suggesting that the guy in charge of roads and highways should be fired for not taking care of the mess. How about the people putting it there in the first place. It's always governments responsibility to take care of the lazy citizens. Like I said though, that's just small potatoes compared to what people live in. I'll take a picture on the way to work tomorrow otherwise you won't believe me. Some yards literally look like dumps. One place had a busted sewage line, raw sewage was coming up through the yard and draining into a pond behind the house. Nice!

Service is just as pleasurable as the rest of the experience (which I like to refer to as the Con way). You very seldom get a "hello" or "thank you". Of course that's not true of everyone. There are some nice people here. And there are some weirdos too. One of the would-be dog slayers rides around in his Toyota pick-up with some younger guy, with a case of beer between them. The young guy is pretty fetching in his coveralls, sans shirt. I hate to come off sounding superior but really, it's kind of hard not to. The satire of Cletus the slack jawed yokel loses some of it's edge when you see how close to the bone it cuts here.

My time is nearing the end here, I would have liked to see it in the summer, it's probably a pretty place when it's all green. Honestly though, I don't think I can take the people. If you're from Conway and happen onto this blog, please don't take it personally, oh and clean up your yard for Chrissakes.