Saturday Night Was Alright

Turns out that what it wasn't though, was interesting. I did eat half a jar of garlic stuffed Mazzeta olives though. How's that for living it up?

Saturday Night's Alright

I'm doing something I haven't done in awhile. I'm sitting around drinking and surfing the internet. This should be interesting. I'm quaffing Guiness and listening to Dwight Yokam on iTunes. I don't particularly like country music. It seems like a bunch of carpet baggers who pander to middle aged women and earnest servicemen. I may have even had a ranting, raving post on the stupidity of "Live Life Like You Were Dying". I don't get that guy's appeal. You know he's bald under that hat, right? I know Dwight is bald under his hat too but for some reason that just makes him cooler.

As you, my loyal readers know, several months back I had an expensive accident when I tried to share a Yuengling with my iBook. I'm keeping the Guiness far away tonight.

I had the pleasure of hearing from a pen pal from Canada tonight. She and I have been corresponding since 1998 or 99 without having ever met. I was working on Wake Island and bored out of my mind so I used Yahoo personals to find someone to write to. Jo has a great temperament and I give her full credit for our being buddies these past eight years. Over the last few years the emails have been dropping off as we've both been growing personally. There was never anything more than a mutual love of Rush and Tuborg beer between us but life changes and priorities shift. I swear to God I'm going to Canada soon to meet her face to face. Tonight, I got an email with pictures of Jo and Cam's (Jo's husband) brand new baby! I'm proud to present Trenton Cameron Chase Wheler -



Is it me our does he have a killer tan?

Vanilla Toothpaste

My last few posts have been kind of unpleasant so I thought I would talk about something nice for this one. I saw Colgate Vanilla Mint toothpaste on the Apprentice last season. It was part of a task. At the time I thought it sounded like it would taste like boiled llama ass. I saw it at the grocery store and decided to try (kudos to the synergy of product placement brought to you by Donald Trump). Turns out it's not half bad. The flavor is very subtle and I actually prefer it to any other tooth paste I've used recently. It's even better than my fruit flavored Looney Tunes brand, although the Looney Tunes has a musical cap!!!.

Assville Continued

See, what'd I tell ya? I would have posted this sooner but as we drove by yesterday the guy was standing at the corner of his trailer burning garbage!!! And I'm talking no more than ten feet from his house. Keep's the skeeters away I suppose. I didn't take the picture at that time because he was staring right at us. The hills have eyes.

Assville

I try not to judge people by where they live. You'll never hear me say the only thing that ever came from Texas was steers and queers (unless I'm teasing a Texan). I'll never allude that everyone from Alabama is inbred, I've spent a lot of time there and it's a beautiful state with a lot of nice people. However! Sometimes an area seems to have more than it's fair share of assholes. Ladies and gentleman, for your consideration, I give you Conway Arkansas. Since I've been here I've rescued two dogs who had been threatened by not one but two gun happy rednecks (this ticks me off and I'm a gun owner). I've had the displeasure of driving through L.A., Washington D.C., Denver, and any number of big city traffic nightmares but this smallish town of 52,000 is where I refuse to ride my motorcycle. Bear in mind that I've lane split on I-5 in San Diego during rush hour. I have mocked people because they are scared to ride their motorcycles in traffic and yet here I am. I've had more people pull out in front of my big blinding-ass red pick-up just this morning than I have the last five years. I even got cut off in the Target by some woman in a hurry. Turns out she was just in a hurry to get her cart and kid in front of me and then slow down.

The litter in this part of Arkansas is a disgrace. Forget about the litter alongside the road, that looks like the 70's commercial with Iron Eyes Cody. It's everywhere. Someone picked it up last week. On the way to work there were several large orange garbage bags on the side of the road. Of course there were fresh bottles and cups to kick off the next round of filth. Some yayhoo wrote the local paper last week suggesting that the guy in charge of roads and highways should be fired for not taking care of the mess. How about the people putting it there in the first place. It's always governments responsibility to take care of the lazy citizens. Like I said though, that's just small potatoes compared to what people live in. I'll take a picture on the way to work tomorrow otherwise you won't believe me. Some yards literally look like dumps. One place had a busted sewage line, raw sewage was coming up through the yard and draining into a pond behind the house. Nice!

Service is just as pleasurable as the rest of the experience (which I like to refer to as the Con way). You very seldom get a "hello" or "thank you". Of course that's not true of everyone. There are some nice people here. And there are some weirdos too. One of the would-be dog slayers rides around in his Toyota pick-up with some younger guy, with a case of beer between them. The young guy is pretty fetching in his coveralls, sans shirt. I hate to come off sounding superior but really, it's kind of hard not to. The satire of Cletus the slack jawed yokel loses some of it's edge when you see how close to the bone it cuts here.

My time is nearing the end here, I would have liked to see it in the summer, it's probably a pretty place when it's all green. Honestly though, I don't think I can take the people. If you're from Conway and happen onto this blog, please don't take it personally, oh and clean up your yard for Chrissakes.

Home Leave

It's been a while since the last post. There are several reasons. I flew home last weekend for home leave. For some reason I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. I got to see Mom and Dad and that was about it. I ran in to one brother and his family in the mall and that was about it. A trip home is always a mixed bag of contentedness, joy, boredom and guilt and some sadness. I'm usually home for a few days. It usually takes that many days to myself to unwind. The only problem with this is I don't make an effort to see family and friends. I promise, I'll get better. Now having said that, to all friends and family reading this, you know where I live and I love to entertain.

It's hard to articulate the contentedness I feel just walking out the door to my drive way. My place is nothing special, this is the view from the front door:



I love it when it's foggy in the morning. I love to wash the dishes and clean the house when it's cold and rainy out. One of my favorite memories is of the year of the big blizzard when I was stuck inside for a few days. I own a duplex and my cousin lives in the other side. I spent a week of walking next door, playing XBox, drinking beer and generally avoiding the outside world. Ah life was grand that month.

A Dream Born Of Boredom

Sweet Jesus, I'm bored. I don't even feel like posting anything but it's this or staring at the ceiling. I've started this post like three times and just can't make it stick. I was checking out the official Isle of Man website earlier. Lisa and I are planning a honeymoon to England in a year. We are definitely going to Bath, Lisa went several years ago and loves it there. I wanted to go to London also, but now I'm thinking I would rather go to the Isle of Man. It's the Mecca of motorcycling with the Isle of Man TT so it would seem like a cool place to go. I've seen plenty of pictures and a video of the race and it looks beautiful. Gimili (John Rhys Davies) lives there too. It would be great to see the race but I hear the place is booked for several years in advance. The race is run on public roads, so I could conceivably rent a Norton Commando and ride the course (at a lot slower speeds of course).

Baton Rouge Road Trip

The crew at Camp Robinson have taken a road trip to Baton Rouge, Louisana for a two day Quality Control class for Army Corp of Engineers projects. It was about a seven and a half hour drive. I drove all the way. It was a pretty fun trip (although I would have rather been on the bike of course). We were on interstate most of the way but got to go through some of Arkansas and Louisana's rural roads as well.

I'm hoping to get some site seeing in and get some pictures but it's kind of a tight schedule. It's my first time in this area, I always get excited by that.