Unambition

So 2007 was a rough blog year and for some strange reason I felt some guilt about not posting. It's not that I wasn't writing however. I was writing the crap out of stuff. It's just that it was exactly that, crap. It's getting harder and harder to come up with stuff for this blog. I've decided to make an effort to write something every couple of days though. Sometimes I don't come up with stuff for a few paragraphs so bare with me.

I've been so busy with work since I took the position of a site manager I haven't felt like writing. Believe it or not I didn't even make the connection until right now. I always joked about how I prefered being a "neck down", meaning my job didn't require any thinking, but I really hadn't thought it was anything more than a joke. I'm the oldest cliché in the argument against excelling in a Capitalist world. My God! The hippies are right! Money isn't everything! For the last year I've felt like the world has been passing me by. It's been like the boat scene from the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Everything has been sliding by in a swirl of nonsense with an occasional glimpse of something real, and that more often as not has been a chicken getting it's head loped off. Thank you Mr. Blog for giving me this epiphany. I've been interviewing for a job with less money and in a way less responsibility. And I've been worried about whether we can afford it or not. The big draw was it is in one place and Lisa and I can be together but now I can add the benefit of getting my life back somewhat. I feel a lot more confident with whatever decision I make now and the scale has tipped back in favor of the new job.

Life seems to run in cycles. I've been in a place before where I felt I had to keep working and worrying about the next paycheck. It goes on until I get some perspective and I step back from the situation. After that I relax and go to a happy place for awhile until I start swirling around the whirlpool of anxiety again. I don't even realize it. This seems like I've been rambling a lot and it might not make sense to any one but me but at least I feel better.