The Kings of Yoo-Hoovius

I walked into Borders the other day and saw Creem: America's Only Rock and Roll Magazine by Robert Matheu in the new book section. It's been a while since I picked up an over sized hardcover book and bought it on the spot but I had to have this one. Creem was a life changing epiphany. Like the first time I heard Areosmith's Walk This Way on the radio. It was 31 years ago but as clear as yesterday. I was in the family Mercury station wagon at the end of a Cul De Sac in Martinsville Indiana waiting for my Dad. He was visiting a friend and for some reason (which I don't remember) I was in the car listening to the local FM station from Bloomington. All of a sudden the only rock and roll riff (with the exception of You Shook Me All Night Long) came blasting out of those tinny 4" speakers. I had no idea what "You ain't seen nothin' til your down on a muffin" meant. I just knew it was dirty and I loved it. My little innocent 12 year old mind had never been so scared and so alive. I'll always remember that as the day I discovered rock and roll. The day I lost my innocence as it were. Sure there was Maggie May and David Bowie's Fame before that but my innocence at that time was so complete that I didn't realize the concept of Rod Stewart's MILF until years later. What followed was a long spiral downhill into the wonderful, rebellious world of Rock and Roll. So after discovering the joys of Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever and Prince's I Want To Be Your Lover (I know he's R&B, but his heart is R&R) I tripped across "Creem". I don't remember what initially drew me to it possibly a cover of David Lee Roth with his shirt down over his shoulder, nipple exposed, staring defiantly at the camera and the promise of a J. Geils story inside. Whatever it was, I was hooked. Lester Bangs was dead by this time but there was something compelling about his mythos that I instantly connected with. I was hooked immediately. Everything about the mag was exactly what an adolescent boy was looking for. From the "Creem Rock Shot" of Dale Bozzio to the "Creem's Profiles" spoof of the Dewars ads, the illicit thrill derived from the fact that my parents might discover what I was reading was enough of an adrenaline rush to keep me awake all night.

The hardest part of growing old is all of the first times I'll never get to experience again. I'll never hear That Smell again for the first time, I'll never see Star Wars again for the first time and I'll never get caught making out with Misty on her Mom's couch by her Mom again. I've said it before on the blog but it still holds true, I've never been happier than I am now in my life but I've also never appreciated what's gone before so much either. Boy Howdy!